Thursday, February 26, 2009

Two stories that I'm not sure are funny but I'm going to post them anyway

I know there's a meme or whatchamacallit that has to do with putting up your unfinished posts. This is kind of like that, except they're not really unfinished, I just don't think they work alone. So of course if they're sucky separately they must be wonderful together.

First story, untitled:

YaYa: Can I rhyme with the cat?

Me: (misunderstanding) No, you can't ride the cat.

YaYa: Not ride, RHYME.

Me: You want to rhyme with the cat?

YaYa: Yeah!

Me: I'm fairly certain the cat can't talk, so I don't think she can rhyme.

YaYa: She can meow if she wants to talk.

Me: What rhymes with meow?

YaYa: (no answer)

YaYa: I want to rhyme with the cat!

Me: How exactly does one rhyme with the cat?

YaYa: Like this! (Demonstrates Patty Cake)

Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure the cat's not going to stand for that.

Second story, originally titled “But I like to fight about kids.”

Unnecessary background: I love to pricematch. There's nothing that I like more than feeling like I'm getting one over on The Man, in this case Wal-Mart. (And that previous sentence is not even a little true—I don't care about getting one over on The Man. I just like to save money. Saving money is like my crack. And, because I've been using the phrase The Man prodigiously, I would just like to say: Damn The Man, save the Empire.)

So, I like pricematching but I'm not all about the dirty looks cashiers give. I used to work at Wal-Mart, so really, you can save the eyerolling because it is not going to affect me. Waah, I have to push approximately six extra keys per match. Won't someone put me out of my misery? (And really, did eyerolling, heavy sighs and snide comments ever make someone not pricematch or use coupons? Ever? Anywhere?)

Anyway, I did have a point. I sent B to the store with pricematches for a few things, chicken noodle soup among them. He came back with chicken and stars, which makes me immediately suspicious that he has been ignoring my list and WASTING MONEY. I asked him about it while he was making lunch and I was putting groceries away. The kids were sitting at the table waiting for their food. I made a joke about how, as soon as I saw the cans of chicken and stars I thought that he had either not pricematched or he'd gotten a very generous cashier. He laughed and told me it was the cashier. At this point YaYa yelled, “HEY! YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING ABOUT KIDS!” We both laughed. Because it's funny when your four-year-old thinks you fight so much he has to intervene. (We don't fight much, really. And we do try to do it away from the kids, although not all the time, because how else will they learn how to be sarcastic?)

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