Thursday, March 26, 2009

The results are in

Mr. Man had his meeting with the myriad people from the school yesterday, and they confirmed autism. I'm surprised but not--by this point I expected it even if I didn't want to. He'll be going to preschool in the fall, which had not even occurred to me. He's not potty trained now and I can guarantee he won't be then, which I thought was a prerequisite for preschool. Plus, we didn't send YaYa to preschool, so it wasn't even on the radar.

I called the doctor's office to see what I needed to do to get a reference to the genetics institute here that does autism testing and diagnostics. I do want to get him on SSI and I mentioned that to the social worker at the hospital. She thought that if the school psychologist had given him a diagnosis that that was just as good as a psychologist from the genetics institute giving him a diagnosis. I called the social security administration and...let me tell you, that was a fun conversation. (Note to SSA person: just because the first person to diagnose my son was a school psychologist that does not mean I don't take him to the doctor. Also, no primary care/family physician should be making autism diagnoses. And I know what a doctor is, thankyouverymuch.)

So at this point the lady at the genetics institute is out of office until Monday. I'll call her then and try and make an appointment, but odds are good it will be in May or June anyway. Until then, he has speech and occupational therapy with a special ed teacher and speech therapist once a week. I have no idea what preschool he's going to; they said they'd tell me in a few months but that they'd try to keep it close to the house.

I try not to use the bad language on here, but I have to say that B is really pissing me off with the autism stuff the past few days. I don't know if it's that he doesn't want to believe Mr. Man has autism or what, but he's now bound and determined that Mr. Man be potty trained by August, when he won't even be three. YaYa wasn't even potty trained until he was three and a half; I fail to see how this will work, plus the fact that, autism or no, Mr. Man is obviously not ready. Tonight at dinner he was trying to force Mr. Man to use a fork. (He does use a fork and a spoon, but it's sporadic and inversely proportional to his level of hunger.) Mr. Man is crying because B keeps taking his food away, I'm talking to my mom on the phone about the meetings and yelling at him to just give the kid his damn food already and he goes, "Fine. Here you go, Mr. Man. You don't ever need to learn, you can always eat like a Neanderthal."

I need a break.


  1. Girl, you don't even know how many breaks you're going to need. That probably doesn't make you feel better...hmmm...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (and really hurts!) Is that more uplifting?

    My (now) 10 1/2 year old was diagnosed before he was two. YES, they can go to preschool before they're potty trained (you're thinking regular preschool rules...this is more "early intervention"). Again with the bad news, but my son has only been potty trained for barely a year...I told you it gets worse. I mean better. Much better. And a little worse too ;)

    I'm sure you have a ton of questions, and while I CERTAINLY DO NOT have a ton of answers, I've "Been there, still doing that" so you can email me at and ask me whatever or I can send you my number and you can call me (if you don't mind talking to a complete stranger-haha)and we can chat about the wonderful world of special needs....

    Oh, and good luck with SSI. They go by your families income, so if you make too much for your family size, he has to wait until he's older.

  2. Oh, we are very poor. :) We'll probably be well within SSI guidelines. When I called the SSA and told the woman our income she was quite incredulous. She also asked if Mr. Man and I lived "with the father."

    I tried telling B that they wouldn't enforce potty training at age 3 for an autistic child but he didn't believe me. I'm about 100% certain he's still in denial and he thinks if we work with Mr. Man hard enough he'll be "normal." (It was mostly him I needed a break from.)

    And I will definitely be emailing you. Probably excessively once everything really starts in earnest.